Matt Posted March 24, 2006 Report Share Posted March 24, 2006 I am unable to sleep and have been up now 29 hours and am so so sick inside. Yesterday at 1:30PM I had to take my loved pet to be put to sleep. She was not scared and it was very peaseful. I stayed with her the whole time. I held her in my arms and whispered to her to go to sleep now as I have done every night for the last 12 years when we go to bed.The doctor gave her an injection and I could feel her relax, I told her I love her very much and to wait for me, that we will be together again some day and I had not even noticed that the second injection was done. It was less then a minute and she was gone. Twelve years of love and care and companionship were gone in 90 seconds. I stayed with her for another 15 minuts holding her unable to let go. I never have felt like this before, all is lost now. I did what I had to do for her. I had to take care of her so she would have had a good life to the end and not suffer. I had to be a good dad. I do not care about anything any more. The grief is unbareable and I wish I could die to. I am having her cremated and returned back to me. My wishes are that she go with me when my time comes and I'm burried. There were so many things I used to enjoy but I now realize I only enjoyed them because we did them together. The world has changed, life has changed. It feels as if there is no life for me now. Friends say it will get better, things will change but I know myself and I will feel this pain very strong for ever. As I said before she helped me get through some very tough times in life. The house is empty and cold now and it hurts to be here. Every ware I look I see a place she was, how am I going to get over this. Another pet will not make my pain for her go away, how am I going to get over this. I asked God to take me to last night but he has abandoned me again. Everyone is different, everyone is different. I will miss Zac for ever. I love you Zac.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger Posted March 24, 2006 Report Share Posted March 24, 2006 You will never forget, but you will learn to accept. You did what had to be done, and that was the ultimate act of your love for her. Hang in there Mat. Loosing a loved one is not easy, but time truely does heal all wounds and it will get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhinchley Posted March 24, 2006 Report Share Posted March 24, 2006 I feel for you. I have 2 Rotts. 4 years and 5 years old. The 5 year old has hip dysplasia and it gets worse by the month. I have been through it before and at the rate it seems to be deteriorating, I know the day I have to do with her, that you had to do with yours, is getting closer. I won't let her suffer and when it gets to the point that she cannot get up, I will have to end her pain. I just think that I would not want to live life myself in pain like that, so it is what I would have to do for her. I find myself spending alot more time with her, because I know there will not be as much time as I anticipated with her when I first got her. But it has been good times, and she is part of the family. I can admit that I love my 2 dogs, and 2 cats, as much as my own kids. Sorry about the loss. I saved her from the Humane society when she was 1 year old. All my others are thoroughbreds, but I have no regrets on adopting her. So much so that I would do it again. And infact, when her times comes I think I will do the same and adopt another that way. She would want that afterall. I changed her fate and gave her a loving home..........and what a better thing to do in her memory then to save another dog. But that is just personal preference for me, and how I view that. Everyone is different, and has a right to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
epricedright Posted March 24, 2006 Report Share Posted March 24, 2006 Matt, Please read my email I sent this morning. Please take care of yourself now! Call me if you need someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PAUL T Posted March 24, 2006 Report Share Posted March 24, 2006 Matt, God does not abandon his children. He is probably carrying you now. Hang in there, you will make it through, and you will be stronger for it. Do not get discouraged, keep your head up. There is a time for everything. A time to Love and a time to cry, a time to live and a time to die, a time to be happy and a time to mourn. When your at the bottom the only way to go is up. I will pray for you, hang in there. PAUL T. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed Fenwick Posted March 24, 2006 Report Share Posted March 24, 2006 Aloha Matt, My wife and I just went through this two weeks ago with her cat. Her sister told her the best thing would be for her to get another one. She brought Java Late home five days later. She is happier now, still Cries but less and less every day. Our God will never abandon you. He loves you as you did your dog. You haven't abandoned your dog, you did what was best for her. God is doing what is best for you, listen to Him, He will help. Ed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stsjoe Posted March 25, 2006 Report Share Posted March 25, 2006 Sorry about your friend Matt, I've had to do it twice...its never easy but you get on. Just remember the fun you had Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert383 Posted March 25, 2006 Report Share Posted March 25, 2006 Feel for you! Looks like your friends here understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill K Posted March 25, 2006 Report Share Posted March 25, 2006 You were both couragous and compassionate in that you cared enough for your dog to releive it of its pain in a way that was easy for the dog but extreemly hard for you. Now you must continue to be couragous in facing the emotional torements that follow. Its easy to dispair and give up. What takes courage is to forge ahead with everyday life and realise that canine companionship is a gift to be granted and lost. Acceptance of the gift is also granting the power to be able to cope with the enivitable loss. Time does heal. Be well.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted March 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2006 Every ones words of wisdom are greatly appreciated. I have read all time and time again looking to gain the power to feel better. I will do my best - but, I am just so lost right now. I'm still dazed and I know the heart brake will last. I did what I had to do to comfort her and be there with her and hold her but it as taken a great toll on me. I close my eyes and it replays in my mind time and time again all night long. I have been up since 6 AM Thursday. Tonight I have a 24 Hr. hot line number to call if I need to, I will try not to use it and be strong. I have a meeting this coming Monday at an animal hospital for people that have lost there pet. I just need to make it to Monday evening though. Till then I do not know what to do with my self, I have nothing I want to do. As you said bill I must be couragous and go on. Everyone has helped me in one way or another and I am grateful for that. Thank you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caddypete Posted March 25, 2006 Report Share Posted March 25, 2006 Sorry to hear of your loss. I pray you can find the strength to get thru this tough time. Hopefully in the future you can bring yourself to bring another companion into your heart,as much as Zac was a companion to you, you brought the same joy to him. There are so many dogs that need devoted companions like you.It takes special people like you to bring out the best in a pet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poobah Posted March 25, 2006 Report Share Posted March 25, 2006 Some years ago, I had a dear friend who was well into his 90's. He'd lead a long and fascinating life and he loved to tell me stories about it. Whenever he got to sad events, like the loss of his wife of many years or the loss of his children, he'd tell me all about them in a detailed and heart-felt manner. When he'd finish, he'd always look me square in the eye, smile, and say, "Well, you know, that's all part of life." We are deeply saddened when these things occur, but we must accept the fact that they are part of this wonderful life we have. We must experience our grief, and then we must gather our strength and move on. There is much joy to come. I think this philosophy is part of the reason this delightful old man lived such a long and happy life. Happiness is owning a Cadillac with no codes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeal1892 Posted March 26, 2006 Report Share Posted March 26, 2006 I worrie about this day coming. I have a 8 year old English Bulldog. she (millie) has had several help problems, and also a tumor. I give her vitmins and go all out on taking care of her. Bulldogs only avgerage 10 years ! Shes always with me and when I leave the house to go do things I always feel very bad for not bringing her with me Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob*97 SLS Posted March 26, 2006 Report Share Posted March 26, 2006 I'm very sorry for your loss. I too went through this in'97 with my beloved Benjamin. A beautiful red cocker spaniel. I still cry when I remember the silly little things he'd do. Be strong and take care of yourself. I now have 2 cockers and they are such a joy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted March 26, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2006 I want to thank those that have taken time to say something to me, it means a lot. I try to understand but it's hard. I learned something though, it's about something they do not tell you when you adopt a pet. It goes along with all the responcibility they tell you about that it takes to take good care of your pet. It's called " Final Responcibility". They do not tell you that along with the gift of a best friend and companionship and unconditional love your pet gives you, comes the final responcibility that you may have to make a decision to do what I had to do last Thursday. It's something that would be unusual to be told when adopting a pet, it would not be normal. It's unfortunate but unless you have friends that tell you of these things because they have gone through it them selfs or were told by there friends, you yourself do not learn about final responcibility untill after it happens to you. I have now learned about this, the hard way, it has changed me forever. I am taking in what you all are teaching me and I am seeing what others are going through and attempting to learn from it all. So many of us in one way or another have battles to contend with. May we all be blessed, may our pets be blessed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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