CarCare101: Project Miata: Police Report… You’re Doing It Wrong

[Bruce Nunnally]

So Friday afternoon I go and pick up the police report from the creation of Project Miata: The Extra Crispy Edition.  Oh dear Jesus. First off they tried to charge me $2 to pick up the police report. Piss on that. That is what I pay taxes for. After a brief discussion with the nice lady behind the counter I convince her of that fact and she agrees to give me the report at no charge, which is a good thing because I’d have been royally peeved if I had to pay for this police report especially seeing as how it’s all sorts of wrong. I’ve highlighted the errors for your viewing convince but I’ll list them out here as well.

1. Project Miata burnt down on Hwy 19, not Hillcrest Drive.
2. The Nearest cross street was Church Street, not Airport Road.
3. Mazda did not make a 1987 Miata.
4. Project Miata was in no way shape or form blue. Nor has it ever been blue at any previous time during it’s life. It was brilliant shade of Lipstick Red.
5. Come on really? I’m a dude. Not a girl. Not even close. I’m fat. I’m bald. And in no way feminine.

I don’t think this report could have many more errors. They;re running out of blanks… #fail Sad thing is now I have to try and get them to fix it so I can give it to the insurance company.

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