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Funkmaster Flex Car Show


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Hey all... I entered my Mini Cooper in the Funkmaster Flex (of Spike TV's "Drive" fame) Car Show in Atlantic City this past weekend... interesting group of vehicles and drivers/owners to say the least. Kids today... geez.

I was QUITE disappointed to find that there were no late model Cadillac sedans entered in the show... there were a few older (70's vintage) land yachts done up in true "pimp" style, and of course the obligatory Escalades with all the "bling."

So the current/future trends in the car culture seem to be:

1) a continuation of the obsession with ICE (In Car Entertainment). I saw TV screens mounted in EVERY conceivable location, including in the door panels (underneath the armrests) so they were only visible when the doors were open, and one SUV with a 32" flat screen surrounded by EIGHT smaller screens. Plus almost every gaming system, tv/video combination (including one with a security-type system so you could watch the outside of your car from the inside of your car), and electronic gadget you can imagine.

2) a fascination with mid-eighties sedans, especially Buick Regals and other cars of that type. Not sure why, except that perhaps these were the "first cars" of some of the people who now have the money and the desire to create customs and they are trying to recapture their youth. But it was weird to see a car that cost maybe $4-5k NEW with wheels and tires that cost that much alone today. Then again, in all my years of building and showing cars and motorcycles, I've come to learn that everyone has their own interpretation of "cool" and that anything is possible.

3) a plethora of different entry options for the doors. I saw doors that had been "scissored" (raising upwards from the hinge), "suicided" (opening backwards from the hinge), "gullwinged" (raising upwards from the top), and "frenched" (no door handles at all, sometimes combined with one of the above treatments). Of course, you need actuators to operate the doors (what good is a trick door if you have to actually touch it to have it open?)... I wonder what happens if your battery dies (maybe from running all that ICE)?

4) a distractingly large number of vehicles equipped with strobes. This seems to be the new neon. The idea is to tuck a high-powered flashing white light into EVERY orifice on your car (headlights, tail lights, turn signals, air dams/vents, undercarriage, etc) so at the touch of a button, the entire vehicle lights up like the paparazzi at a Paris Hilton sighting. Blinding, yes. Legal, no. But since when did the law stop anyone from doing their own thing? You WILL get noticed though.

5) a variety of creature comforts. Built-in mini-refrigerators to keep your Moet and PimpJuice cold. Built-in humidors to keep your Cubans and Blunts moist. Built-in safes to keep your money and your guns secure. Anything you'd have at the crib, you need in your ride. And considering that many of these cars are worth the price of a row home in the hood, it makes sense to me. Cell phones have made home phones obsolete for many young people... why wouldn't custom cars make apartments obsolete for more "mobile" young people?

BTW... I didn't win my category, as there was a TOTALLY custom Mini there which made mine look showroom boring. But I learned a lot... and I'm committed to getting my STS ready for the Funk Flex show in Philly this fall. All I need is $$$.

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I saw the pic of your MINI and of course, I really like it alot.

Someone I know said that today he spotted a convertable MINI, his jaw dropped open, it was so awesome. :rolleyes:

If you really want to make people safe drivers again then simply remove all the safety features from cars. No more seat belts, ABS brakes, traction control, air bags or stability control. No more anything. You'll see how quickly people will slow down and once again learn to drive like "normal" humans.

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i'm going to shave my door handles off and rig them up to suicide configuration, if the battery dies, usally have a manual release in the trunk, so long as you have a trunk key.. even seen some where they have an "emergency entrance" run a magnet along a "secret" spot to actiivate the backup battery.

where are the pics to the mini, these cars get my attention on the road

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i'm going to shave my door handles off and rig them up to suicide configuration, if the battery dies, usally have a manual release in the trunk, so long as you have a trunk key.. even seen some where they have an "emergency entrance" run a magnet along a "secret" spot to actiivate the backup battery.

where are the pics to the mini, these cars get my attention on the road

The MINI pics I refer to were e-mailed directly to me by PhillyDude. Pretty nice MINI, black.

If you really want to make people safe drivers again then simply remove all the safety features from cars. No more seat belts, ABS brakes, traction control, air bags or stability control. No more anything. You'll see how quickly people will slow down and once again learn to drive like "normal" humans.

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PhillyDude, you work for a newspaper?

I do freelance photography for the Bergen Record (sometimes).

If you really want to make people safe drivers again then simply remove all the safety features from cars. No more seat belts, ABS brakes, traction control, air bags or stability control. No more anything. You'll see how quickly people will slow down and once again learn to drive like "normal" humans.

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