BodybyFisher Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 In the early 80's someone once told me that America's downfall was going to occur when it gave SPECIFIC rights to every group. As far as I am concerned we are all AMERICANS and I wish we would get back to all of us believing that. The most incredible and disturbing thing for me is, that I can clearly recall seeing the Politically Correct sequence of events seen below, having worked in the corporate enviroment from 76 to 07. While this appears to be a joke, its quite accurate as to where we have gone in this country. Unfortunately,we can't make everyone happy all of the time, especially during the"Holiday" Season. Although I hope you get a laugh or at least asmile from these Memos, the overall message is certainly painful. Company Memo FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE December 1, 2011 RE: Gala Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playingtraditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if ourCEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees canbe done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the givingof gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family, Patty Company Memo FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 2, 2011 RE: Gala Holiday Party In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The samepolicy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those stillcelebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now? Happy Holidays to you and your family, Patty Company Memo FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 3, 2011 RE: Holiday Party Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name.. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table thatreads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am Isupposed to handle this? Somebody? And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since theunion members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe$10.00 is a little chintzy. REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED Patty Company Memo FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 4, 2011 RE: Generic Holiday Party What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this timeof year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the GrillHouse can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or elsepackage everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy Will thatwork? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest fromthe dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to therestrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gaymen, each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that nocross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion inthe restrooms. Sorry. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first. There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, butthe restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts Sorry! Did I miss anything else? Patty Company Memo FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All F*%^ing Employees DATE: December 5, 2011 RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them.I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! The rest of you f*%^ing weirdos can kiss my *smurf*. I hope you all have a rottenholiday! Drive drunk and die, Patty, the *smurf* from Hell!!! Company Memo FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting HumanResources Director DATE:December 6, 2011 RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her recent nervous breakdown and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the asylum. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and giveeveryone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. Happy Whatever! Joan Pre-1995 - DTC codes OBD1 >> 1996 and newer - DTC codes OBD2 >> https://www.obd-codes.com/trouble_codes/gm/obd_codes.htm How to check for codes Caddyinfo How To Technical Archive >> http://www.caddyinfo.com/wordpress/cadillac-how-to-faq/ Cadillac History & Specifications Year by Year http://www.motorera.com/cadillac/index.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texas Jim Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 Merry Christmas to everybody.... whether you like it or not... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRZ_23 Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Merry Christmas caddie people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarrenJ Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Here's wishing everyone Happy (and trouble free) Holidays! Warren There is no means of avoiding the final collapse of a boom brought about by credit expansion. The alternative is only whether the crisis should come sooner as the result of a voluntary abandonment of further credit expansion, or later as a final and total catastrophe of the currency system involved. - Ludwig von Mises Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTOken Posted December 23, 2011 Report Share Posted December 23, 2011 Merry Christmas! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger Posted December 24, 2011 Report Share Posted December 24, 2011 No one ever accused me of being politically correct. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BodybyFisher Posted December 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2011 Merry Christmas all! Pre-1995 - DTC codes OBD1 >> 1996 and newer - DTC codes OBD2 >> https://www.obd-codes.com/trouble_codes/gm/obd_codes.htm How to check for codes Caddyinfo How To Technical Archive >> http://www.caddyinfo.com/wordpress/cadillac-how-to-faq/ Cadillac History & Specifications Year by Year http://www.motorera.com/cadillac/index.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike5514 Posted December 25, 2011 Report Share Posted December 25, 2011 Joan better watch out or shes next. Do it the right way. Post Having a party bring good cheer. For special request press # Merry Christmas everyone Its a Wonderful Life.Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyeld Posted December 27, 2011 Report Share Posted December 27, 2011 Happy Holidays here to everyone on my favorite Cadillac forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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