Texas Jim Posted September 24, 2011 Report Share Posted September 24, 2011 Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Husband, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment...and when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!! ♥ ♥ ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyeld Posted September 24, 2011 Report Share Posted September 24, 2011 That made for a good laugh. Talk about irony. The next question, what to buy with 10 million dollars? A new Cadillac? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texas Jim Posted September 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2011 That made for a good laugh. Talk about irony. The next question, what to buy with 10 million dollars? A new Cadillac? Of course... that shouldn't even be a question... The only question would be... which ones and how many.... :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
airmike Posted September 24, 2011 Report Share Posted September 24, 2011 The OBVIOUS answer is one if each and one of every color Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Nunnally Posted September 24, 2011 Report Share Posted September 24, 2011 Jim, They have 3 pre-owned V sedans over at Crest this weekend; just sayin... V-V-V Shopping Spree Bruce 2023 Cadillac CT4-V Blackwing Follow me on: Twitter Instagram Youtube Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texas Jim Posted September 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2011 Jim, They have 3 pre-owned V sedans over at Crest this weekend; just sayin... V-V-V Shopping Spree I like the Crystal Red 2009... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarrenJ Posted September 24, 2011 Report Share Posted September 24, 2011 Good one Jim! There is no means of avoiding the final collapse of a boom brought about by credit expansion. The alternative is only whether the crisis should come sooner as the result of a voluntary abandonment of further credit expansion, or later as a final and total catastrophe of the currency system involved. - Ludwig von Mises Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texas Jim Posted September 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 25, 2011 Good one Jim! Thank you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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