I have ordered many items and parts from numerous online vendors in the past. NEVER have I called them 4-5 hours after the payment was made online asking for a tracking number. Thats asking alot from any vendor no matter what their size.
I would have given them a least a full day to 2 full days before I started calling or e-mailing them with questions about when my order would ship. Unless they had stated same-day or next-day shipping, but even then I would have given them a day to process the shipment. As someone else stated, with alot of these companies you are lucky if you even get an e-mail period! Paying for an item online and expecting it to go out on the truck instantly is a stretch by any means.
I can understand your anxiety to have the parts in hand ASAP so you can get your car fixed. I can also understand the seller refunding your money at a point where he had received 3-4 calls in 2 days from a buyer he felt would be a "problem". Granted, he probably could have handled the situation differently. But, if you had been patient, your item would probably have been in your hands within a week. Which I feel would have been acceptable since you did not opt for the next day shipping.
Be happy that your money was quickly refunded, and find another supplier with a similar product that can meet your demands.